


You and I, It's forever

by harrystylesandstuff



Series: The frozen yogurt series [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Declarations Of Love, Dysfunctional Family, Facials, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Happy Ending, I may have cried, Long-Distance Relationship, Love, M/M, Morning Sex, Partying, Phone Sex, Smut, Top Louis, True Love, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 05:26:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4126884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrystylesandstuff/pseuds/harrystylesandstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis goes back home and realizes that fate is a smart little fairy...</p><p>This is the third and final part of The Frozen Yogurt series !</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I, It's forever

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I've written this all over the thought of Harry eating too much frozen yogurt.
> 
> Anyways !
> 
> It was fun writing it and I really hope it warms your heart 
> 
> Enjoy and please comment/give kudos because I love knowing what you think, good or bad :)
> 
> Mel
> 
> x
> 
> Playlist:
> 
> Thinking out Loud - Ed Sheeran
> 
> Magic - Coldplay
> 
> And really all the songs dealing with eternal love, hope and faith in life

 

“So, what makes you think you’re what we’re looking for ?”

 

The room is cold and the walls are painted white with no decoration whatsoever. There’s one window opened to let the sun in and no way to breathe in this heat. The sound of people rushing in the hallway is the only sign that there is life in this building, and there’s a possibility the word ‘stress’ was invented only to describe this moment.

 

Louis is trying hard to focus on the question and ignore the way the rather old man in front of him grinds his teeth trying to get his lunch out.

 

“Well, I’ve graduated from The University of Doncaster in performing arts and got my degree in teaching. I‘ve had a few experiences being a member of the local drama club since I was fifteen and started my internship two years ago. I’m passionate and am willing to adapt to any kind of tasks I may encounter.” Louis has repeated his speech for a few days and he’s surprising himself because he was still messing it up twenty minutes ago in the hall.

 

“I’ll be honest Mr Tomlinson…You seem to be dedicated to drama and you do meet the requirements but…We’re just not sure about your ability to teach an adult class for now? You’re quite young and we need someone more experienced I’m afraid.”

 

It’s the third interview Louis’ had so far and they’re all the same. He goes in prepared and ready to face the negative response and tries to look interested even when he sees the face that says “that guy’s too young.”

 

It’s not like he hadn’t expected to hear that. He’s only twenty-three, just got his diploma, and the only class he ever taught was for children in summer camp. He thinks about yelling “HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE EXPERIENCED IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE EXPERIENCE” but he just smiles and nods before exiting one more office.

 

He walks to the parking lot clenching his jaw and cussing under his breath, pulling on the ridiculous suit he had to wear for the occasion. He slams his door when he sits down and hits his head against the wheel on his hands. He feels desperate and stupid for hoping this interview was going to be different.

 

He gets rid of his tie and takes off the uncomfortable moccasins when his phone rings. He knows who it is already and he really doesn’t feel like answering and disappointing one more person.

 

“Hi babe.” He hides his frustration and fakes a smile, fixing his quiff, damaged by the heavy bangs on the wheel.

 

“Hiiii. So how was it ?”

 

“Just like the others. I’ll stay inexperienced and unemployed for the rest of my life, nothing new.”

“Don’t say that…They’re crazy for not taking you, you’re amazing, I hope you know that.”

 

“Yeah but you’re only saying that because you’re my…because you-“ Louis is not too sure how to phrase this one. They haven’t said it out loud and he doesn’t want to put salt on this cut.

 

“They’re missing out.” Harry takes over. “You’re great at teaching...”

 

“I’m not sure teaching them how to fuck me with their tongue counts though.” Harry bursts out laughing in the phone and Louis tries to push away what it does to his heart.

 

“You’ll get a job soon enough Lou. I’m sure of it.”

 

“Let’s just not talk about this until my next interview, yeah ? What did you do…yesterday ?” Louis asks when he notices it’s one in the morning in LA and around ten in the morning here.

 

“Well, I worked at the shop until six and then met with Niall and some friends. I just got home.”

 

“Was it fun ?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Louis can hear the “but I’d rather spend the day with you” and squints his eyes trying to avoid the thought.

 

“I know that voice Harry.”

 

“I miss you.” Harry says, confirming Louis’ suspicion. He always sounds sad and uninterested in what he does if it doesn’t involve Louis.

 

“I miss you too.” Louis whispers, and there’s a long pause before a loud noise in the background interrupts them. It’s from Harry’s side and Louis thinks he might have dropped something, but then he hears a foreign voice and frowns. “What was _that_ ?”

 

“Oh, just my friend Jeff.”

 

“Jeff ?”

 

“Yeah, remember that guy who agreed to develop and promote my company to implant more shops in the city ? Well, his son is helping me out with ideas to hire people and just manage the whole thing.”

 

“And you’re working at 1 am ?” Louis chuckles, trying to mask his curiosity.

 

“Not really…He was with us tonight and he wanted to see the studio and stuff.”

 

Louis pinches his bottom lip and closes his eyes trying to keep calm. He trusts Harry and, for all he knows, that guy is just a business partner and it’s in Harry’s interest to befriend him, right ?

 

“Oh, alright.”

 

“ _Hazza that’s amazing your songs are very powerful._ ”

In the three months and a half that they’ve been together, Harry has never shown Louis the songs he wrote. It didn’t matter if Louis begged or blackmailed or made a mess in the studio to get a hand on them. It was strictly forbidden to read them. Most of them aren’t on Niall’s album and the ones that are, weren’t all him, so it’s sort of a well kept secret for now.

 

All this considered, finding out Harry lets this Jeff read them and comment on them is the one thing that turns Louis’ face red. He trusts him enough to be the one person who’ll never hurt him in any way, but right now the sound of this guy’s voice goes straight to his chest.

 

“So, what have you planned for today ?” Harry says over the voice, probably gesturing Jeff to shut up.

 

“I don’t know, maybe kill this Jeff guy, I’m not sure yet.” Louis says very seriously and he expects Harry to giggle and reassure him but he doesn’t and it’s just turning into something he doesn’t like so much.

 

“What ?” And now he’s playing dumb, or maybe he just hasn’t made the connection.

 

“I’m not allowed to see a word of your songs and this guy is reading all of them ?”

 

“Oh no, Lou…I left them on the piano and he grabbed them before I noticed, I didn’t make him read them.” Harry says, nervous and clearly worried Louis would snap at him.

 

If there’s one thing Louis has learned after this few weeks being away from Harry though, it’s that he can’t get mad, can’t hang up on a bad note, can’t waste the little time he has to talk to Harry by accusing him of not thinking about him enough. So he takes a deep breath and smiles again.

 

“Okay.”

 

“I should probably go but, you’ll call me when you go to sleep, yeah ?” Harry asks and Louis can hear him pout and all his frustration flies away.

 

“Of course baby.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“Love you too. Bye.” When Louis hangs up, he can’t help wondering when. When will he see his face in person again ? When will he get to touch him again ? When will he get to be in the same room and give death stares to anyone getting to close to his baby ?

 

He drives home a while after that, thinking about how he’s going to announce to his mom that he got rejected…again.

 

Since he returned in Doncaster, his mom hasn’t missed one chance to remind him of everything he needed to take care of. When will he look for a flat, when will he submit another job application, when will he get fitted for the wedding scheduled for the end of August, when will he meet with his dad to hear him out…

 

He steps into the house as quietly as he can, trying to avoid waking up the kids probably still sleeping, since summer means the day basically starts when it ends.

 

He goes upstairs to his room and takes off his professional clothes before slipping into his sweats and going back to bed. He checks his phone to see the four group text messages from yesterday inviting him to go clubbing tonight.

 

He’s seen his friends a lot since he returned, mainly because they keep stopping by. They invite themselves over to play video games and bring weed when no one’s home and Louis’ trying to make them happy, but he also would rather cry about not being with Harry. His friends know that though, so they insist on being with him as much as possible to avoid a disaster.

 

_Louis : Can’t tonight. Too tired x_

_Calvin: such a fag ffs_

_Oli: come on bro !_

_Luke: u sure ??_

The last time Louis went clubbing with them, he got too drunk and almost got into a fight because a guy looked a bit too much like Harry. He’s never been a liability, but lately he’s been going home in Luke’s arms or Calvin’s back carrying him without his mom noticing.

 

_Louis: Just a drink._

He knows he will get dragged into everything that happens, let himself party hard enough to get his mind off of things, but it’s better than staying alone. He’s usually skyping at that time, but if his mom hears them cry for two hours one more time at two in the morning, she might kick him out.

 

She’s been surprisingly comprehensive of Louis’ discomfort though. She lets him get angry without challenging him too much, cooks him anything he wants, scolds his sisters to not mock his new habit of checking his phone every five seconds, and smiles when he brings his laptop on the couch even though the screen is just Harry sleeping.

 

“Hey my love, didn’t hear you come home, how did it go ?” Jay asks as soon as Louis enters the kitchen. She’s making the girls and Ernie’s breakfast. Her new guy, Dan, has left for work before Louis was up.

Louis just keeps his head down and grabs a bowl and his coco pops in the cupboard before sitting at the table. Jay doesn’t insist and goes back to sorting out grapes for Lottie.

 

“Don’t forget you have-“

 

“Fittings at three, I know.” Louis huffs.

 

“I’m sorry you can’t be with him right now Boobear.” Jay looks as miserable as her son and Louis feels a bit bad to worry his mom so much, but he just can’t do it any other way.

 

“I’m not talking about it.” He mumbles, munching on his cereals.

 

“Okay…Well, just so you know, Anne is visiting this weekend and I invited her to stay in the guest room.”

 

Anne is the friend Jay’s made when she went to a convention on feminism a few weeks ago in Liverpool to “empower women in the workplace”. She’s been talking about her non stop ever since, saying she’s the best friend she’s never had. Louis hasn’t been listening to her much but she sounds like an excited teenager having a slumber party right now.

 

“Ten people in a house, how lovely.” Louis says sarcastically and his mom rolls her eyes, reminding him where he gets this from. “I’ll probably just spend the weekend at Stan’s anyway.”

 

“No you’re not.” Jay stops what she’s doing and brings a hand to her hip, and Louis knows he won’t be able to get out of this one.

 

“But mom-“

 

“I don’t care if he just got the new Frifa.”

 

“Fifa.” Louis corrects her.

 

“Doesn’t matter. Dan, Anne, her husband and I are going out and you promised you’d babysit. I wouldn’t have set this up if you hadn’t, so it’s too late party boy.”

 

Louis vaguely remembers agreeing when his mom asked if he could babysit this weekend, but Harry had decided to show up naked to their Skype call and he just wanted to keep her away from the screen really.

 

“Fine. But I’m not taking care of diapers.” Louis states even though he knows he’ll end up rubbing baby powder on his sister and brother anyway.

 

He gets back upstairs when he’s finished with his cereals and goes through his closet, already wondering what he’ll wear tonight. He opts for his fancy light purple shoes, black skinny jeans and a black tee, puts everything aside, and decides on going back to sleep until then.

He’s been napping everyday at any time, perks of living nine hours ahead of your boyfriend and staying up until five am to talk.

 

They’ve managed to schedule regular hours to call and Louis’ been trying his hardest to pretend he doesn’t need more. They leave their laptop on, even when one of them falls asleep, even when they’re not talking and just doing their own thing with the screen next to them, even when they can’t fight their tears to talk anymore.

 

But it works. They’re making it work somehow, and Louis would make it work for a lifetime waiting for the day they see each other again.

 

 

**********

 

 

“Bro, I think that’s enough for tonight.”

 

Stan has been trying to get Louis away from the bar for half an hour. He keeps taking shots and walking around with a beer or a cocktail in his hand, a cigarette tucked behind his ear and laughter strangling him. The only time Stan has seen him like this was when he tried to forget about his mom’s ex leaving them, just like the other men in their life.

 

“I don’t think so.” Louis frowns and giggles in his beer.

 

“Leave him be Stan ! We finally have our boy back !” Calvin chants and hooks his arm with Louis’ to lead him in the middle of the dancing crowd.

 

“See ! Calvin gets me !” Louis is talking with his eyes closed and lets Calvin guide him closer to the music.

 

He puts his beer on a random table and leans on Calvin a bit more for balance. He can’t make out much of the room and the music is beating in his heart, but he keeps going and finds himself moving to the sound of the DJ’s mix.

 

He’s being his loud self, shouting “ayyyy” and throwing his hands everywhere, swaying his hips to match the beats. He’s having fun, enjoying the fact that he can’t hear himself think.

 

He’s dancing on his own, not giving two fucks about who’s watching, when he feels hands on his waist. He immediately turns but is revealed when he sees Calvin shouting and jumping on the spot, bringing Louis with him.

 

They’re dancing like crazy, song after song, mix after mix, rejecting a few strangers trying to join.

 

Louis’ getting more and more drunk and unable to stand normally and just stumbles and lets himself fall on Calvin every time. The latter doesn’t seem to care though, too used to this side of Louis, and even keeps a safe hand on his hip to keep him from falling face first on the floor.

 

Louis’ not sure if it’s the alcohol or the side effects of the joint he smoked before getting here, but he’s almost sure Calvin’s walking his hand a bit too much on his back. They’ve always been quite close and touchy, but this feels different. He always has a hand on Louis and he sometimes get oddly close, but it’s friendly affection so Louis never questioned it. Right now, however, Calvin is almost grinding behind him and he’s not too sure what’s going on.

 

“Can we go outside ?” Louis is feeling dizzy and he can’t breathe among all those sweaty people. Calvin nods and takes him by the waist to make their way to the others.

 

“Hey, we were looking for you ! It’s getting too crowded, we’re going back to Oli’s !” Luke informs and Louis is glad because…BED.

 

They all go outside the club and Louis is slacking a bit and a random security guy even escorts him to the car, seeing how lost he is. There’s not much room with all the girls they’ve picked up inside and Louis has to settle for Calvin’s lap. He’s almost certain his hand on his bum is not just for safety and it feels a bit intimate, but it’s Calvin so everything’s fine.

 

They get to Oli’s place within twenty minutes and Louis falls out of the car laughing loud.

 

The flat isn’t big enough for everyone so they end up sitting on each other and are soon choked by the smoke.

 

Louis is on Calvin’s lap again, no room left on the couch and all, and he’s enjoying the bong and the cool breeze coming from the window next to him. Calvin his playing with the hem of his shirt and it’s relaxing, but there’s just something different about tonight and it feels a bit strange.

 

These two have always had an ambiguous friendship. It’s mainly based on playful mutual hatred and teasing and socially unacceptable closeness, but it works. They’ve known each other forever and are the most comfortable out of the group, but it still feels different right now.

 

Louis is leaning on him entirely, head on his shoulder, back stuck to his chest and bum right on his crotch. Calvin’s arm his resting on Louis’ thighs and he whispers in his ear to talk and make Louis laugh in his neck every time.

 

“You’re getting heavy Tommo.” Calvin teases and Louis giggles but acts offended right after.

 

“It’s the weight of my dick, sorry !”

 

“Oh really ? I’d say it’s your big bum but alright…” Calvin is clearly having fun picking on Louis and it’s all banter so they laugh and keep insulting each other.

 

“Some people like that arse…very much so.”

 

“Obviously…” Calvin mutters and Louis’ not sure he’s heard this right so he doesn’t say anything back.

 

He suddenly turns his head to face his friend and speaks with his eyes close, too swollen to open.

 

“Why aren’t you with a girl right now ? You’re letting Oli get all of them, what’s happening ?” Louis chuckles and he hadn’t expected Calvin to drop his smile that fast.

 

“I’m not into it tonight.”

 

“Not into it tonight ? HAHAHA since when ?” Louis hasn’t seen Calvin not flirting with a girl in so long, he was beginning to think he was graduating in persuading girls to hook up with him at some point.

 

“I’ve sort of changed interests lately…”

 

“You’ve changed bro.” Louis says dramatically and Calvin smacks his ass in response, making Louis scream a bit and shut up.

 

“Do you wanna hang out in Oli’s room ? I can’t breathe with this smoke.” Calvin complains and Louis doesn’t really have a choice since he just lifts him up and grabs his hand.

 

They drop on the bed and sighs in sync, relieved to finally be able to move without bumping into someone.

 

Louis has his eyes closed, enjoying the slight silence and the way his body is fully resting, at last. He’s slowly letting himself drift away when he feels a hand under his shirt and he makes sure he’s not already sleeping before looking at Calvin. The latter is scooting closer and suddenly starts kissing Louis’ neck and he’s just very confused. He pulls away and grips Calvin’s hand on his torso.

 

“What are you doing ?” Louis chuckles, trying to not make this too awkward.

 

“Oh come on, like you haven’t thought about it.” Calvin puffs and leans back down to reach Louis’ lips. He quickly turns his head on the side and pushes him with his hands on his chest to look at him properly.

 

“What the fuck Cal ?”

 

Calvin drops back on the bed, covering his face with his hands. Louis waits for him to explain himself and he’s about to give up when he finally hears something.

 

“I…” Calvin sighs. “I think I’m…I think I might…” Louis is patient but not that patient.

 

“You’re gay ?”

 

“No ! I’m not a fag !” Calvin snaps, taking Louis by surprise, and hurting him more than usual.

 

“Good to know it’s how you see me…”

 

“No, I mean…I’m not gay. I just wanted to…I don’t know.” Calvin is clearly panicking and Louis feels only half bad for him because he keeps insulting him but maybe he’s just lost with himself.

 

“So you’ve brought me here to fuck me, huh ?” Louis tries to lighten the mood and giggles, glad when Calvin smiles again.

 

“I’m sorry.” Louis tries to ignore how hurt his friend looks because he’s never seen him like this. He’s usually unable to feel anything and always covers his pain with humour or banter, so it’s just really new.

 

“S’alright. Just don’t go around kissing guys without any warning, yeah ?” Calvin nods but still can’t look straight at Louis.

 

There’s a long silence, letting Calvin think for a bit, allowing Louis to process what it might mean. He’s one of the most homophobic of his friends, walking around faking vomiting when they walk past gay couples and teasing Louis for “taking it up the ass”, and it’s just the least expected news ever.

 

“Since when ?” Louis asks, trying for the first time to have a serious conversation with his friend.

 

“I don’t know. I just got a bit jealous in California I guess. I thought it was only because you ditched us for that guy, but then I started losing it when I saw you kissing and it just…”

 

“Are you in love with me or something ?” Louis raises a brow.

 

“Don’t flatter yourself Tomlinson. I love you but as my best friend. But you’re the only gay friend I have. And you’re the only guy I’ve always been really close too, it just felt weird you know.”

 

“I love you Cal. But you know how much I love Harry, right ?”

 

“I do.” Calvin’s voice is a bit cracked out and Louis doesn’t know if he should hug him as he usually would. It just makes things different now. He just hopes he hasn’t lost his friend.

 

“Lucky you, you have plenty of fit guys everywhere.”

 

“I’m not gay.” Calvin tries to convince himself.

 

“You know I don’t care if you’re gay, or bi, or pan or asexual, right ?”

 

“The fuck is a pan ?” Calvin frowns and Louis laughs because he looks like a confused puppy. “Anyway. Promise you won’t tell anyone.”

 

“Don’t worry, I’d never do that. C’mere.” Louis promises and pulls Calvin into his arms. “Please don’t get hard.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

 

**********

 

“How was your night out ?” Harry sounds odd, distant and ready to snap for some reason.

 

Louis has been sleeping all day at Oli’s and went home in the evening, when he made sure he didn’t smell like an alcoholic hobo anymore. He tried paying attention to Lottie and Fizzy’s story about the party they went to last night, but he fell asleep on the couch after a while and prepared himself to get beaten up by them when he wakes up.

 

When he did, he quietly tip toed his way upstairs and escaped his sisters to get to his room. He hasn’t changed his room since he was eighteen and there’re still ripped posters on the wall and stuffed animals and his old skit, but it feels like home so he insisted Jay wouldn’t touch anything.

 

His phone rang few moments later and he was planning on sleeping again but saw the ID and just sat down for the one call he waits for everyday.

 

“It was alright.” Louis doesn’t tell him how he got smashed, how he ended the night glued to Calvin and how he nearly became a sexuality test.

 

“Yeah I bet it was…” Harry mutters and Louis feels like he’s missing something.

 

“Do you know something I don’t ?”

 

“You tell me…I really enjoyed Oli’s snapchat of you on Calvin’s lap, or maybe Luke’s tweet about you too locked in a room alone, or maybe the fact that you didn’t text me you were going to sleep, leaving me waiting for hours…you choose.”

 

Louis stays silent for a moment, trying to replay the whole night and remember when people got this much evidence of his drunken state.

 

“We were partying Haz.” Louis defends himself and really hopes no one posted a picture of him sleeping on Calvin.

 

“Yeah. Looked really fun.” Harry is using his angry voice and Louis’ not intimidated by much, but this voice just does it. “Was he good ?”

 

“What ?”

 

“Did he get to fuck you as well ?” Harry doesn’t even sound like himself.

 

“What the fu- baby, I promise you, nothing happened. We’re always like this, it’s nothing.”

 

“You always sleep on your friends like that ? Well I guess we don’t have similar friendships then.” And there goes Louis’ hope for that.

 

“I didn’t do anything Harry.” Louis says with a serious tone to attempt scolding this angry voice away from his boy.

 

“I get it. It’s been weeks, you’re probably craving stuff…” Harry says with disappointment and Louis falls on his back to the thought of Harry thinking he’s been cheated on.

 

“The only one I crave is you.” Louis tries to reassure him but doesn’t hear anything back. “I crave your lips and your tongue.” There’s no sound on the other line but Louis figures he might as well just confess. “I crave your hands. I crave the way you dragged them everywhere on me. I crave your thighs, your hips and I crave you bent in front of me. I also crave your cock a lot and-“

 

“Stop.” Harry breathes but Louis is just not done yet.

 

“I wish I could just lay you down and-“

 

“And what ?” Harry asks and Louis can hear him lay down wherever he is right now.

 

“I’d get on my knees and make you watch me touch myself when I lick your-“ Harry cusses and Louis smirks, proud of himself.

 

“What e-else ? What would you do next ?”

 

“I’m not too sure. Maybe I’d make you join me and touch yourself as well while I watch.” Louis whispers. “Touch yourself for me Harry.”

 

There’s a quiet moan in the phone and Louis can’t help palming himself when he hears Harry unzip his jeans, probably too tight right now - more than usual anyway.

 

“I…I am.”

 

“What are you doing ?” Louis asks and begins freeing himself as well.

 

“I’m…I’m rubbing my thu-thumb on the… _ouh_ …head and…sliding my hand up and down and…” Harry’s voice is deeper than usual and Louis wonders if this boy will ever stop going through puberty three times a week.

 

“What about your other hand ?”

 

“Um..”

 

“Stroke your balls with it.” Louis hears the switch to speaker so Harry’s hands are free and he can hear him so well, doing whatever he says, his eyes are rolling all the way inside.

 

“ _Ouh_ …huh…I…I wish it was…you.”

 

“It is me. Focus on my voice baby. Just on my voice.” Louis instructs and tries hard to kick his jeans away with his feet to not ruin them.

 

“O-Okay…”

 

“I want you to think about me, think about me on top of you… _Huh_ …think about my fingers inside of you-“

 

“ _Ouh_ …I… _Ouh_ …” Harry can’t talk and Louis makes it his mission to not go too fast with himself to talk to him.

 

“Think about my tongue and how it’s so much better than peanut butter cup and chocolate fondue frozen yogurts.” Louis’ not sure about this one but applauds when he hears Harry pumps himself faster. He almost giggles at the thought of what turns this boy on but remembers how it actually sort of turns himself on as well.

 

“More tongue and… _ouh_ …” Harry is literally picturing Louis with him and it’s getting too much for him to handle.

 

The only sound by now is the one of their scattered breaths and the few “ _ouh_ ” on Harry’s side and “ _fooking_ ” on Louis’. They’re panting together and Louis’ hand holding the phone is getting too tired. He struggles to put it on speaker and turns the volume on as much as he can as he jerks himself off whilst Harry is starting to squeak.

 

When Louis hears Harry’s last ‘ _ouh_ ’ followed by his high pitched squeak, he strokes himself through his orgasm and doesn’t care if the whole house is listening to him shout Harry’s name.

 

They stay silent for a few minutes, enjoying the noise each other are making.

 

“I just ruined my apron.” Harry giggles and Louis takes some time to realize what he just said.

 

“What do you mean you ruined your- Oh my god Harry are you at work ?”

 

“Um…yes ?” That boy is just unbelievable, Louis thinks.

 

“Harry you’re…Fuck, I love you baby.”

 

“Me too.” Louis can just picture him smile, bite his bottom lip, scrunch his nose, and he just wished he could hug him tight and kiss him for hours.

 

There’s a few slams of doors and Louis can hear voices downstairs.

 

“I think my mom’s friend arrived. Fuck, I didn’t even lock my door, I gotta go but I call you later ?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“You trust me, right ?” Louis waits for the answer with his heart tight.

 

“Of course I do.” Harry says and Louis can hear him grin and instantly smiles back before hanging up.

 

When a knock on the door cuts his thoughts, Louis takes one look at himself to know he’s fucked. His jeans are too far away and he’s covered in his cum and the pressure keeps him from coming up with an idea. The door slowly opens and he quickly slips under the covers and pretends to be checking his phone, because it’s just too late to stage being asleep.

 

“Louis ? Anne’s here, be social and come say hi please !” Jay doesn’t step inside and Louis is glad because he forgot to put his weed Tupperware back in his closet and it’s just sitting on the floor for everyone to see.

 

He rushes to the bathroom and pushes Fizzy in the hall when she giggles at the sight of him walking awkwardly, holding his dick like he’s just been hit there. He tries his best to look presentable and finally goes to the stairs to greet his mom’s friend.

 

“Hello !” Louis smiles politely and is about to give a friendly kiss on Anne’s cheek, but she pulls him into a hug and he’s a bit surprised but welcomes her kindly.

 

“I’m so happy to meet you Louis ! Your mom has talked so much about you !” Louis eyes his mom as if to scold her for that, but Jay shrugs and he chuckles because he loves how his mom treats him like a national hero or something, probably for being the one man she knows will always love her to death.

 

“She’s also talked a lot about you ma’am, so it’s nice to finally meet you as well.”

 

“Oh please, call me Anne. Come join us, we were just about to make some tea.” Louis is not that much into adult talks but he does need some tea right now.

 

“I love your shirt by the way. My son is very fond of them, he would love it ! In fact, I’m pretty sure he has that one.” Anne says, pointing at Louis’ Rolling Stones tee shirt. It’s actually Harry’s and he’s floating in it, but he likes how loose it is and it’s a bit of Harry on him so it’s keeping him sane.

 

“Oh really ? Well, they are legends so, good taste !” Louis smiles and they all sit down outside, waiting for Dan to bring the tray.

 

“So, tell me a bit about yourself Louis. Your mom told me you got home from California not too long ago. How was it ?” Anne asks excitedly so Louis doesn’t dodge the painful question.

 

“It was amazing. I went with a few friends and we visited great places and enjoyed the mix of cultures and …” The weed and the artistic bongs… “…the weather. The weather was great…” Great to make out on the beach. “…and the food was also very interesting.” Especially the frozen yogurts served by a cute guy in pink aprons.

 

“How lovely !” Anne exclaims, hands folded under her chin in admiration. She’s really beautiful and she kind of reminds Louis of Harry and he’s starting to think he’ll think about him seeing an pineapple pretty soon.

 

The sun is always up at eight at night and Louis regrets being happy about summer right now. He really just wants to head back to his room and check his phone. He left it to not seem rude, and also because he’s sure his mom would kill him if she heard one ring.

 

Anne and Jay engage in a feminist debate and Dan and Robin, Anne’s husband, puff and protest and it’s all very entertaining, but Louis can’t stop staring at Anne. If he doesn’t stop it’ll get a bit creepy, but she just reminds him so much of Harry. She has the same smile and the same sort of kindness and he’s really glad but also really freaked out.

 

“Louis ! Louis !” Phoebe calls her brother from behind his garden chair, forcing him to look away from his mom’s friend.

 

“What’s that love ?” Louis asks, taking the drawing his little sister hands him.

 

“It’s you and Haroooold !” Phoebe sings and Louis giggles looking at it. It’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen. It’s him on the beach and whom he figures is Harry – this stickman with Rapunzel hair has to be – lying on the sand under a palm tree, holding hands.

 

“It’s lovely Phoebs, I love it !” Louis smiles and tickles his sister, making her giggle before running back into the house.

 

“How sweet of her. Can I ask who’s Harold ?” Robin asks, having a full view on the drawing, being next to Louis.

 

“He’s um…” Louis doesn’t really know if he can say the word without choking, or sobbing.

 

“His boyfriend.” Dan says on his behalf and Louis nods, thanking him for that.

 

“Oh, that’s cute. Will he join us this weekend ?” Anne asks with tender eyes and Louis loves her even more.

 

“He doesn’t live in England unfortunately.” Jay answers and immediately looks at her son to check if he’s okay with the topic, which…he is not.

 

“Long distance relationship, huh ? Be strong Louis. My son fell madly in love with someone who lives far away from him and he calls me everyday crying about how painful it is. But, as he always says “if two people love each other, they always find a way”, fate will get you together if it’s meant to be.” Anne’s words sort of comfort him but also remind him how he misses his tall sunshine.

 

“I hope so.” Louis shrugs. “I’m sorry, but I’m exhausted. I think I might go back to my room if that’s okay ?” Louis excuses himself and doesn’t wait for any approval to walk back upstairs after waving goodbye to the guests.

 

He thinks about what Anne said as he scrolls down his camera roll. He stops on a video Harry had recorded for him to play whenever he wanted to hear and see him. It’s a fifty second footage of Harry saying how much he loves him and singing part of that Bobby Vinton song that sort of became _their_ song.

 

He falls asleep to the sound of Harry’s “youuuuuuu” with his sister’s drawing on the pillow next to him, hoping Anne’s son is right and that fate is on their side.

 

 

**********

 

Today is the day Louis has been running away from the most.

 

He’s trembling, eating his nails even though it’s not even an habit of his…He’s almost sweating and almost turns the engine on when he sees a car park a few feet away from him. They’re the only cars in this parking lot so it can’t be just a random person. It’s him.

 

He repeats ‘fuck it’ as his mantra and finally steps out of his car to reach the café. His heart is beating too fast and he tries to ignore his sweating hands when he pushes the door open. He let him walk first and choose a table and, when he sits down, his first instinct is to jump out the window.

 

“It’s nice to see you Louis.” His dad’s voice is dry and cold and he really just wants this to end already.

 

When Louis doesn’t say anything back and orders a coffee instead, Troy stares at him and he doesn’t know him well enough to know what he’s thinking or what his intentions are.

 

“So…How have you been ?”

_What do you mean ? Are you asking me how I’ve been since you left ? How I’ve been since I learned how to walk ? Since I graduated high school ? Since I recovered from my broken arm I had to get surgery for ? Since I graduated college or since I gave my blessing for my mom’s new marriage ?_

“I’ve been alright.”

 

Troy doesn’t even look uneasy. He’s staring at his hands around his coffee cup and there’s no readable expression on his face, not even guilt, not even regret, not even a tiny bit of concern.

 

“Why did you want to see me ?” Louis asks, already annoyed by his da- Troy’s behaviour.

 

“Look, I know I haven’t been a great dad.” _You haven’t been a dad, period. Asshole._ “I understand you being mad at me. But I’ve been reflecting a lot lately and I thought I would make it up somehow.”

 

Louis is trying too hard not to spit in his face to talk.

 

“I’ve heard your mom is getting married with that Deakin guy…” Troy says when Louis doesn’t say a word.

 

“She is.”

 

“Does he still…um…Manage public works ?” Troy looks slightly nervous for the first time and maybe Louis had been getting his hopes too high. “I have this project to develop-“

 

“Wait. Did you only call me for your business ?” Louis is about to cry. He didn’t know he needed something else this much.

 

He’s feeling like an idiot. How stupid was he to even think – hope - that his biological father would try to contact him to make up for all this time, for all the things he missed. How stupid was he to think someone would wait twenty years to reach out and finally love him.

 

“We could hang out. If you convince the guy to hear me out and look at my business plan, we could go drink a beer at the pub if you really want.”

 

Louis’ tears are threatening to just flood his cheeks and make him forget all the things he ever wanted to shout in his face. He wanted to trust him so bad. He listened to Harry saying maybe he’d want to apologize for his past because people change. He listened to his mom telling him to give him a chance. Just like every time, he trusts people and gets hurt, over and over again, never learning from his mistakes.

 

He should have just hung up on him the first time he called. But he wanted so bad to believe that someone would… No, scratch that. He wanted so bad to believe that _his_ _dad_ would try anything for him. But, sitting in front of this stranger right now, Louis is realizing how, no matter how hard he tries to be perfect, no matter how many performances he tries to nail when he’s on stage, always hoping he would just show up for some fucked up reason and come congratulate him, and no matter how many times he cries himself to sleep praying his dad would love him one day, some people, no matter how related they are to you, are just not capable of love.

 

“Look, Louis…” Troy starts while Louis’ trying to not burst into tears, paralysed on his chair. “Your mother and I were too young and I wasn’t ready to have a kid. I never wanted one.”

 

The words are reaching Louis’ ears like knives and he can feel himself crumble on the spot.

 

“What about now ?” Louis stutters, biting his bottom lip when hearing how weak he sounds.

 

“It’s not your fault I never wanted you in my life Louis. Your mom didn’t want to take care of it, so you can’t blame me.”

 

Louis is seeing red, he can feel the coffee coming back up and there’s a teardrop running down his cheek without his consent. He could just walk out of that café and never see this man again, never say what he’s always wanted to say.

 

That’s what he would have done a few months ago. That’s what he would have said if he hadn’t been taught running away from everything and let it eat you from the inside isn’t the solution.

 

“You know what…One day, I’ll have kids. And I don’t care if they’re planned or a pleasant accident. I will love them with everything I have and I will give them enough love to never let them find out how it feels to not have enough of it.” Louis wipes his tears and gets up to walk out, he stops on its way and takes a deep breath, and walks out the door without giving one look back.

 

He tries hard not to run to his car and lose it. He forces his brain to make him walk normally and he might be shaking and crying, but he didn’t just walk away. He showed up and listened and said what he had to say. He didn’t say everything in his mind to not get kicked out of that café and look like the bad guy, but he did it.

 

The drive home is tears and blurry roads and angry bangs on the wheel. He runs to his room and finally lets himself go as much as he can. He cries for what seems like forever, soaking his pillow and screaming into the mattress. His nails are nearly ripping out the sheets and his brain is going to explode. His heart is aching and he doesn’t know if this pain will ever stop.

 

He punches into the bed again, and again, and again, screaming into it, his rage choked and inaudible for everyone when it’s killing him.

 

It wasn’t supposed to hurt, he thought. It wasn’t supposed to be this painful. But it is. It feels like he’s been abandoned again, and there’s still a hole in his heart, the same that’s been driving him crazy his whole life.

 

“Louis ?” Jay knocks on the door but he’s crying too much to answer. “Louis, is everything okay ?”

 

She gives up waiting for an answer and enters his room, running to his bed as soon as she sees her son drowning in his own tears.

 

“Boobear what happened ?” Jay asks, rubbing Louis’ back just like she used to when he was little.

 

“Nothing. He’s just an asshole.” Louis sniffles and his mom keeps walking her hand on his back until he falls asleep.

 

He wakes up later on and does his best not to make too much noise. He’s still wearing his clothes from earlier and his cheeks are still red, but he’s feeling better. He still feels like his heart is missing a piece, but he’s alright. He’ll be alright.

 

He’s laying on his bed, a bit confused and disoriented. He checks his phone to see a missed call from Harry and starts shedding tears again immediately.

 

He’s not whole, he feels like half a person, half strong, half capable and half loved. He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel. He doesn’t check the time when he grabs his phone and calls Harry, still sobbing.

 

“H-Hello ?” A sleepy voice answers and Louis wants to cry for waking him up.

 

“I’m so sorry Harry…I didn’t want to wake you up but I just didn’t know what to do and-“

 

“Shhhh shhh calm down, calm down.” Harry’s voice is already filling the hole in his heart and he lays down and wraps his arms around his knees against his chest to pretend Harry is holding him. “What happened ?”

 

“He didn’t want me. He said it’s not his fault if my mom didn’t want to abort…”

 

“Oh Lou…” Harry sighs. “Please don’t let him get to your head. He’s a wanker, he doesn’t deserve you anyway and-“

 

Louis tries to listen to him, he tries to give it a chance and just believe what he’s saying, but all he really needs is to be in his arms, feel and not just hear.

 

“I’m here for you Lou.”

 

“No you’re not…And I’m not sure I can handle it anymore to be honest.” Louis mutters.

 

“Please don’t do this…Just because I’m not physically beside you doesn’t mean I’m not there for you. I’ll do anything you want to make you feel better, you know that.”

 

“But you can’t Harry ! You can’t hold me and you can’t hold my hand and it’s all I need. I don’t care about words right now, I don’t care about the idea of you, I don’t want the idea of someone being there for me, I want to feel it.” Louis’ tears are turning into rage.

 

“Louis…”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but it’s just too much. I just…I need you. And not having you close is just…I’m not sure I can cope with it baby.” Louis’ almost stuttering trying to get the words out.

 

“What ?”

 

“I said I-“

 

“I can’t hear you. What did- I can’t- to-“

 

“Hello ? Harry ?”

 

“Hel- can’t – of- L-“

 

“Fuck I can’t hear you, can you just –“ Louis insists even though he can barely make out any word. He tries a few times but the call ends and, no matter how many times he calls him back, it’s a fail.

 

That’s all he needed. After a shitty day, all he needed was to be unable to talk to the only one capable of making it better. And he’s starting to really hate that long distance relationship thing.

 

 

**********

 

The next few days, Louis spends it at Stan’s. He can’t risk running into his mom and see the pity look on her face.

 

Luke, Calvin and Oli as well as Nizam and Ricardo, other friends of theirs, also joined in. Stan has the house for himself every weekend and Louis’ really glad he doesn’t have to walk on people this time.

 

There’s a big garden with a small lake and a barn that Stan and his brothers turned into ‘The Lucas Fort’, as they call it. They’ve got great memories of smoking for the first time, having their first time on the rusty couch, getting drunk for the first time, waking up on the ladder covered with pillows…

 

Louis has been high for two three straight now. He doesn’t even know how to feel normal anymore. He doesn’t have a clue when he’ll be home and he’s just glad his friends don’t ask any questions because it’s not the first time he’s been like this. It happened every time his mom’s new guy left her – and him – or when Aiden cheated on him, or when he found out he had to redo his second year in uni…

 

He’s sitting on Calvin’s lap, even though there’s plenty of room on the old couch, and he refuses to pass his joint. He’s enjoying the comfort of Calvin’s arms and, it might not be Harry, he’d still settle for this over being alone anytime. Of course, the alcohol and the drugs might influence him a bit, but all he wants is comfort and just someone to hold him hard enough.

 

“Are you gonna be that selfish ?” Calvin scolds and Louis giggles because he hasn’t stopped laughing for twenty minutes.

 

“I don’t feel like sharing today.” Louis whispers and Calvin has to pull him closer to hear him.

 

“You’ll have to get off me then so I can roll my own.”

 

“Open your mouth.” Louis turns his head to cup Calvin’s cheek, just enough to guide his mouth whilst he blows the smoke right into it. His friend inhales with his eyes closed and lets Louis hold on his chin. His hands are lazily resting around Louis’ waist to keep him still and Louis’ legs are on each side of Calvin’s left thigh.

 

“Thanks. But I’ll need more than that to get as high as you are I think.”

 

“You don’t wanna get as high as I am Cal…” Louis slides off his friend’s lap to tuck his joint on the side of the ashtray at their feet, and falls on the purple bean bag in the corner. It’s big enough for four people and Louis is sinking into it, making Calvin laugh and join him.

 

“Get off.” Louis puffs.

 

“You know you can talk to me, right ?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Louis sighs. He crosses his arms under his head and closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling overtaking his brain.

 

He thinks he might be too high when he feels Calvin closer to him. He doesn’t mind because they always get this touchy when high or drunk and he really needs the presence, really needs to know there’s at least one person who’s able to hold him right now.

 

What he hadn’t expected - especially after the other night at Oli’s where he clearly explained where he stands on the matter - was that Calvin would start kissing his neck. It’s quite nice and it’s not too much so he lets him, enjoying the attention.

 

Things get a bit tricky when he starts palming him though. He’s rubbing his hand gently on his friend’s crotch and sucks on his neck and it really shouldn’t feel this good. Being high means being horny in Louis’ case and he could go for some kind of release after a few days of frustration. But as soon as he comes back to his senses and gets his head to work normally, he shakes his head no and gently blocks Calvin’s wrist to make him stop.

 

“You sure ? I don’t mind you know…” Calvin insists a bit and keeps kissing Louis’ neck and the latter suddenly jumps.

 

“No. You can’t kiss my neck and…other things.”

 

“But Harry’s not here.”

 

“He might not be here to break your neck but he’s with me all the time, in my head.” Louis says standing up. He struggles a bit and falls back on Calvin, unable to get his limbs to work.

 

 

“What’s the point if you’re never together though ? Are you supposed to have a relationship on two different continents ?” Calvin’s surprisingly not using a rude tone. It sounds like he’s trying to understand how Louis manages to be faithful and not end the whole thing.

 

Louis doesn’t really have an answer to that. He doesn’t know what the point is, doesn’t know how they’ll make it work. All he knows is that there’s absolutely no one else he’d rather have palming him and kissing his neck.

 

“I need to go.”

 

The walk back to his house is a mere blur and he’s pretty sure he told a few people to fuck off when they asked if he was okay, but he made it alive so it doesn’t really matter.

 

When he steps in, the house is loud and crowded with active children and noisy teenagers and just too many people in one house, especially when Louis’ that intoxicated.

 

“Louis !” Daisy calls her brother, soon followed by her twin, Lottie, Fizzy and all their friends gathered in the living room.

 

“Hi love.”

 

“You smell bad !” Phoebe frowns and pinches her nose and Louis doesn’t really know how to tell his six year old sister that it’s the smell of weed, beer, tobacco and pain.

 

“ _You_ smell bad !” Louis says back like a child and ignores everyone else to get to his room.

 

He intends to take a shower but crashes on his bed instead. He checks his phone to see a text message from Charlie telling him to call her whenever he can. He’s not sure right now is the right time but he could use a chat with Charlie.

 

She’s been checking on him even when he went back home and always listened to him, giving him advice on whatever he needed. They mainly talk through texts since they’re rarely awake at the same time, but she’s become a very helpful friend through everything.

 

“Yellow !” Charlie answers after the first tone.

 

“How are you love ?”

 

“Fantastic ! Jennifer got us tickets for Avenged Sevenfold next month and I’ve got the greatest news ever.” Louis doesn’t know that band but he still gets excited for her and is glad he’s able to feel happy for his friends even when everything’s wrong on his side.

 

“What’s that news now ?”

 

“Are you standing up ? If so, sit down, hold something, and prepare yourself to buy me the most expensive Steve Madden boots.” Charlie says fast and Louis feels a bit dizzy.

 

“What the fuck are you on about ?”

 

“Remember when I told you Rosie was getting a new job as an art teacher at that school in Santa Monica ? Well, turns out they’re looking for a drama teacher ! She told me and I was like ‘shut up !’ and she was like ‘no I swear !’ so I was like ‘oh my god Louis wants to be a drama teacher’ and she was like ‘fuck he’d be right next to Harry’s place’ so I was like ‘we gotta get Louis this job’ and she was like-“

 

“Charlie wait.” Louis is confused enough without her speaking that fast.

 

“Sorry. Long story short, you have a job as a drama teacher waiting for you at SaMo ! You’ll be teaching cocky teenagers craving for fame, but it’d be perfect, right ?!”

 

Louis’ not sure he’s hearing things right. He feels his head spinning and he can’t believe what his friend is telling him.

 

“But I’ll have to go through the whole job interview process again and there’s no way I’m getting in.”

 

“Did you even listen to me ?! You have a job waiting for you Louis. Rosie caught the director fucking some student in his car so he agreed to give you the job, no questions asked, in exchange of her silence. How fucking cool is that ?” Charlie is talking like there’s nothing wrong with the story, and Louis laughs at that.

 

“I don’t know…”

 

“And they’ll contact you for the visa and everything you need to know and what they expect you to teach and everything…Promise me you’ll consider it, yeah ?”

 

“Of course I will, are you kidding ? I’ll wait to see what they want.” Louis doesn’t sound as excited as Charlie had expected but she screams happily all the same before hanging up, trying hard to cover Jennifer calling her to cuddle.

 

It’s not that Louis doesn’t want the job. It just feels so unreal. He doesn’t have to face rejection after an interview, doesn’t have to feel doomed to be away from Harry forever, doesn’t have to worry about finishing his days in his little town.

 

The thing is, great things don’t happen to him. It just doesn’t happen. And when it does, it never lasts, leaving him lost and hurt and unable to trust fate again.

 

But this is an opportunity of a lifetime. Not only would he teach drama to kids who might be going through exactly what he went through when he discovered his passion for drama, he would actually be able to be in the same city as Harry.

 

He shakes his head trying to shake off the bad thoughts and grins for the first time in weeks. Maybe that’s fate trying to help him, help them. Maybe that’s his one chance, the one thing that’ll make everything else okay again, maybe that’s _it_.

 

He’s always wanted to be far away from Donny. He loves home and his family and his friends, but his dream was elsewhere, and his most recent fantasy is waiting for him exactly where that job would take him.

 

 

**********

 

 

It’s been almost a week since Louis has spoken to Harry.

 

He’s been working a lot with the Azoffs and his dad for his company and they’ve barely had a chance to answer texts at the same time.

 

Louis had decided to only tell him about the job opportunity when he’ll get more details, and he quit trying to understand what Harry’s been doing, because it’s just not great to put in a few characters, and they can’t be arsed writing novels on their phones.

 

Besides, last time Louis listened to him talk business, he got a bit lost given how Harry just doesn’t bother explaining any terms he’s learned in uni. He’s studied Law and Business and it’s like a whole new world to Louis so he just lets him talk and just googles everything later on.

 

He wished his dad had felt guilty enough to apologize by buying him expensive cars and giving him enough money to buy a nice villa on top of the Butterfly Hills, and set up his own business. Harry’s been making money with his song writing and the company, but thanks to his dad he just knows anything there is to know about real estate and how to invest there, and that’s made him the wealthy young man he is today.

 

He’s been feeling down and incomplete without his daily call with him, but his mom’s wedding is coming up and he just can’t ruin the day for her.

 

She’s been singing around the house and trying out dresses and sorting out last minute details and Louis’ been helping out. Dan has left yesterday for his last two days as a bachelor and he invited Louis, but he felt a bit awkward getting fucked with his new stepdad and his friends. Not because they’re old, but let’s be real, they’re a bit too old for his liking.

 

He hasn’t seen Calvin that much since the day he left him hanging on that bean bag. He’s been staring at his number, almost ringing him, before putting his phone back in his pocket.

 

He loves his friend, but he just doesn’t want to risk anything happening again, even if it just means him sitting on his lap.

 

He’s seen Stan who comes over all the time and went to NIzam’s birthday last week, but he can’t get his head to cooperate and party anymore. He’s just had enough. It doesn’t matter how many drinks he downs or how many joints he finishes or how many songs deafening him, nothing works anymore.

 

It’s been a while and he still misses Harry as much as he did a the airport. It’s been a while and he still feels like his heart is somewhere else, twirling in a little shop on Venice Beach and making strangers smile.

 

“You look beautiful mom.” Louis whispers in his mother’s ear when he sneaks into her changing room. Lottie made sure to give him the signal to go comfort her and it doesn’t matter how many times he’s seen her with a different guy, he‘s never seen her this happy.

 

He goes back to the church and takes his place as the best man, and he might as well be the one to get married because he’s stressed out of his mind. He threatens Dan with what he’ll do to him if he ever hurts his mom one last time before walking to stand on the stairs.

 

The wedding is wonderful.

 

His mom cries halfway through her vows and Dan joins her the second she does. Louis takes the opportunity to scan the benches and notices his friends falling asleep, his sisters’ girlfriends sobbing, and his grandparents holding hands as they watch the union of their daughter with a man they hope won’t disappoint this family.

 

The baby twins are carrying the rings and everyone giggle when little Ernie pouts, taking the pressure off a bit.

 

All Louis can think about, however, is the way he’d be looking at Harry, and he’s actually glad the latter can’t see him right now because he’s tearing up a bit and looking at his mom and her husband like there’s a bright halo above them.

 

There’s just something about marriage, something in the act of linking your future life and yourself to someone else because you just trust them so much and love them so much, you wouldn’t imagine your life if they’re not sharing it in every way possible.

 

He thinks about the day he realized he was gay. He had spent hours crying over the fact that he couldn’t get married.

 

He also thinks about the day England allowed same sex marriage though. And he’d rather keep this one in mind.

 

They all make their way to the reception venue at Stan’s – whose parents agreed to host the wedding in their gigantic garden by the lake – and Louis is rushed in the best men’s car.

 

When he gets there, the place is beyond magical.

 

 

There are white and lavender flowers hanging everywhere and decorating the tables, matching Jay’s flowers in her hair. The white marquees are all over the grass and the bar occupies two of them, right next to the buffet.

 

Louis hasn’t eaten yet so he’s starving when he skips towards the amuse bouche.

 

There’s a few oddly shaped toasts and not that appealing pies and Louis wonders if there’s anything he can grab that doesn’t require a napkin, when he spots a chocolate fountain.

 

He should be thinking about how sweet the chocolate is, or which fruit stick he’ll choose to taste it, even maybe how the hell they set it up so well. But instead, all he can picture is a certain French chocolate fondue on big peanuts and a frozen yogurt mix. He’s smiling to himself, but this smile is half painful and he just lost his appetite.

 

“I don’t think it’s worth it without peanuts…”

 

Louis freezes.

 

There’s a part of his brain telling him it’s just hearing voices, that he’s been smoking too much weed and it finally got to his sanity. He doesn’t dare turning around, doesn’t dare finding out who that voice belongs to, because he knows it too well.

 

“I personally think chocolate fondue should always be licked off peni-nuts...” The voice continues and Louis can hear the smirk.

 

He can’t stop his eyes from watering and he’s shaking when he finally gathers enough strength to move his feet and find himself face to face with the one he’s been wanting to be with for so long.

 

He doesn’t move. He can’t close his mouth or his widened eyes and he can’t bring himself to say anything.

 

“You look gorgeous Lou.” Harry is standing in front of him, giving him that bright smile with his perfect teeth and his glorious hair and his tight black suit and his see through shirt only buttoned halfway, and just his everything really.

 

“Shut up.” Louis whispers to himself. “Shut up shut up shut up…” He repeats as he jumps into Harry’s arms, hooking his arms around his neck and crying into it.

 

Harry giggles for a second before burying his face in Louis’ neck as well, holding him tight, bringing every little broken pieces back together.

 

They stay like that for a long time, unable to part, unable to let any inch of them out of touch again.

 

When Louis frees himself from Harry’s grip, he takes his wet face in his hands and looks deep into his eyes before slowly leaning in to kiss him for the firs time in what seems like forever.

 

He can’t believe he’s able to do that. He’s feeling those silky lips he’s been dreaming about, sucking on the tongue he’s been craving and running his hands through the long curly hair he’s missed too much.

 

The kiss is slow and gentle and the sound of their tongues sliding in sync is all he can hear, all he can focus on. Harry is keeping his hands on his lower back but Louis can feel how much he wants to drag them lower. But they’re in the middle of a children friendly wedding and it doesn’t matter how much they need to touch every part of each other, they’re not alone.

 

That’s when Louis remembers they’re in Doncaster, at his mom’s wedding, making out in front of a buffet in front of a big crowd.

 

“What…How…What…Fuck…” Louis mumbles but keeps kissing Harry as if he’s going to disappear at any time and only leave a ghost of himself, because there’s no way this is real.

 

“Long story. Can we go…Is there somewhere we can…um…” Harry is as unable to speak as Louis.

 

“Yeah, come with me.” Louis takes Harry’s hand and fights the happy tears at the familiar warm feeling. He guides them to the old barn/ fort thingy, away from the festivities. He makes sure no one sees them, since there’s no possible way to lock the door, and stays still while Harry walks back towards him.

 

Harry’s hands are shaking on his hips and his breath is uneven. He can feel his hair tickle his neck when he leans down to stroke it with his lips and the world stops spinning, just like every time this boy touches him.

 

“I’ve missed you so much.” Harry whispers, resting his forehead against Louis’. The latter can’t even function. He can’t make his mouth make any sound. He just lifts Harry’s chin a bit and kisses him, again and again, and again, until they nearly choke trying to hold back their breath.

 

Louis walks them to the inflatable mattress in the middle of the room and Harry falls on it easily, bringing Louis right on top of him between his legs.

 

They’re normally quick to get rid of their clothes but right now, they take it slow, spending minutes kissing every newly exposed part of their body.

 

Louis is eager to glue himself to Harry, but this boy is actually folding Louis’ suit so it doesn’t look too suspicious when they come back out. He does the same for his and it takes a while, but they eventually find themselves completely naked and sweating in this small wooden cabin.

There’s no windows and the only light they’re getting is from the few holes in the ceiling, making their skin shine as they rediscover each other’s heat.

 

Louis really wishes he could make love to this boy right now, take it slow and spend a lifetime kissing him everywhere. But it’s been weeks, months even, and anyone could walk in any minute.

 

He sits up, straddling Harry, grinding on him as if to ride him, making him squint his eyes and probably wish Louis was actually taking his cock deep and moving his hips in a sinful pattern.

 

Instead, Louis pulls back and bites his bottom lip, scanning Harry’s body, stroking himself as he does. Harry makes it official that they share one brain, because he’s on all fours within seconds of looking into Louis’ eyes.

 

He’s panting already, reminding Louis of the first time he ate him out, the time he bent him over the couch, or the way his bum stuck out of his cute yellow shorts.

 

He slides his hand from Harry’s neck, down his spine, caressing his skin and muscles, kissing Harry’s dimples down his back. He squeezes his perky bum and licks his hole but takes a brief pause, making Harry turn around.

 

“You’re okay ?”

 

“Yeah, I just…I don’t have any…” Louis mutters.

 

He doesn’t have to say anything else for Harry to shift his weight on the mattress and bent in front of Louis, this time with his face right into Louis’ thighs. He massages them before wrapping his hand around Louis’ semi and starts jerking him off a bit before licking his shaft and sucking his cock as Louis tugs at his hair and tilts his head back. Harry’s arse is exposed and Louis fights hard not to lose it before he even start anything.

 

When Louis’ wet enough, Harry wipes his mouth and turns back around, running the hand that was wrapped around Louis’ erection, still wet with saliva and pre come. Louis admires the way it makes his hair shine even more and considers making a dirty comment but figures he might leave that for later.

 

Instead, he walks his tongue around Harry’s hole, spreading his cheeks with his hands before sucking on two of his fingers and rubbing his rim, entering him without notice. He spreads him out and makes sure he’s not too tight, even though it drives him crazy when he is, and kneels down right behind him.

 

When he pumps himself a few times and finally strokes Harry’s hole with his head, Harry lets out a choked ‘ _ouh_ ’ and Louis already feels his heart heal.

 

He teases a little, only getting the tip inside before emptying Harry again, making him beg Louis to fill him entirely.

 

Louis might be craving a quick fuck, he can’t bring himself to not take care of his baby. He makes sure he’s crying in front of him when he finally bottoms out. He doesn’t wait long before moving, holding onto Harry’s arse.

 

He thrusts gently once before slamming himself against Harry, pounding into him as hard as he can, with all the strength, all the passion and all the love he possesses, remembering how rough Harry likes it.

 

“AW…AW… _Ouh_ …” Harry gave up the quiet moan and high pitched squeak for the deep and disturbingly sexual scream and Louis is pretty sure the entire country can hear him.

 

“Huh…Oh…Fff-“ Louis can’t even let one word out as he fucks Harry senseless, sweat dripping into his eyes, fringe stuck to his forehead, lips parted to groan and praise every god.

 

He’s getting high on the sound of his pelvis slamming Harry’s bum and leans down to jerk him off, making the boy moan non stop and rock back on him to get Louis to go deeper, faster, harder, just fuck his brains out and make up for all this time he’s been deprived of his cock inside of him.

 

Louis admires Harry’s back muscles contracting and pulls at his hair to tilt his head back when he slows down a bit, just to get a little bit deeper, brushing dangerously against his prostate.

 

The way he’s tugging at Harry’s hair keeps him from staying quiet and he’s soon grunting under Louis’ hand, whining when Louis lets go.

 

“I…I want…” Harry sounds like he’s suffering but is loving it at the same time and it’s confusing but it’s also the best turn on Louis could ask for.

 

“What do you want baby ?” Louis manages to ask when he slows down a bit, only moving in circles inside his boy, keeping his hand loose around his cock.

 

“Face… On…my… _huh_ …” Harry is literally crying.

 

Louis understands what he’s trying to say nonetheless and gets himself out of him slowly, letting him fall on his back, chest rising and falling at an alarming pace. He moves to straddle Harry’s torso and pushes his long fringe back before touching himself.

 

He can hear Harry do the same and he watches as he stares at the tip of his cock, opening his mouth the second the first drop of cum comes out. He tries his best to get most of it in his mouth but smiles at the contact of Louis’ cum on his cheeks, on his eyelids and down his chin.

 

“You…You look so pretty like that.”

 

Harry might be glistening with Louis’ cum, he still can’t breathe properly and Louis remembers he’s still working on himself. He walks backwards and bends down, sucking Harry off slowly, destroying him in yet another way.

 

He thought he had heard every noise Harry could possibly make, until he takes him deep enough to hit his throat, and Harry squeaks and moans at the same time, creating an “ _eek mmmh aw_ ” that should be forbidden.

 

Louis lets him moves his hips up and fuck his mouth, enjoying Harry’s hand in his hair. He pumps him through his orgasm and swallows every drop of his work before wiping his lips with his thumb.

 

They would normally stay there for hours, cuddling, caressing every inch of each other, but they’re at a wedding. They’re at Louis’ mom’s wedding, and it takes a while, but Louis eventually remembers that Harry’s not supposed to be here.

 

He cleans Harry’s face with the towel hanging on the ladder, and forces them to get dressed, even when Harry pouts and lays down naked on the mattress, sparkling under the lights coming through the ceiling.

 

When they get outside the fort, no one’s around. They giggle at the thought of what just happened and walk hand in hand down the lake to an empty bench.

 

“So my mom told me she stayed at a friend’s house in Doncaster and that she had a son who was in a long distance relationship just like me. I thought it was just a well spread phenomenon, but then she told me “I hope Louis gets better” and I sort of had to ask... She told me Jay was having her wedding at the end of the month and I made sure she’d give me all the details so I could surprise you.”

 

“I can’t believe our mothers are friends. What are the chances ?”

 

“I guess fate’s a funny little fairy.” Harry smirks and Louis is so glad to have his pretty baby back he’s having cramps smiling so big.

 

“I don’t know how long I’ll stay, but I ‘m so glad to finally see you…”

 

“Well, now that you mention it…” Louis thinks it’s the perfect time to bring up the job opportunity, making it official that they’ll be together at all times and won’t have to rely on crappy phone services and shitty wifi. “Charlie told me something that could make it easier…”

 

“Harry ? Wow is it really you mate ?!” Calvin is walking down towards them and Louis loves him but he wouldn’t feel that guilty if he pushed him in the lake right now.

 

“Oh hi…Nice to see you again.” Harry lies.

 

“Same, same. Wow, I’m happy you too are reunited. Louis’ been crying over you since he went home !” Calvin jokes but hurt is clear in his eyes and Louis’ just glad he’s not mentioning any of their odd behaviour. “I’ll leave you too alone, I’m just grabbing some wood for a fire for tonight.”

 

Calvin says and waves goodbye and Louis thanks him in his head for knowing his place and letting his friend be happy even if it means he won’t be.

 

“What’s his weakness ?” Harry asks when he gets out of sight and Louis’ not sure what that means.

 

“What ?”

 

“I’m not a violent guy Lou, but I don’t like him. Doesn’t he have like a fetish necklace I can hide or something ?” Louis laughs and shuts him up with his mouth, making sure Harry’s too focused on his tongue to think about his friend.

 

“As I was saying…”

 

“Louis ! Harry !” Anne calls from afar. “They’re cutting the cake, come on !”

 

Louis thinks fate is playing with him when he’s cut for the second time. They walk up the steep trail anyway and join the rest of the guests to watch Jay and Dan share one of the moments they’ll have framed in the house.

 

Harry takes Louis’ hand when he sees him look fondly at his mom, and he might as well be telling him how much he loves him, because he can feel it in his warm palm and the playful nudge he returns.

 

The band then starts playing Jay and Dan’s song and the crowd make room for them to have their first dance. It’s sweet and well performed and Louis takes a few pictures and videos, knowing his mom would kill him if he didn’t.

 

The songs finishes and the guests are finally invited to dance with the married couple, and Louis doesn’t hesitate before grabbing Harry’s hand and leading him on the dance floor. He skips and happily twirls Harry around before pulling him closer, taking one hand in his and placing the other on Harry’s shoulder.

 

Harry obliges but moves his hands down Louis’ back, making him wrap his arms around his neck, getting closer, staring in each other’s eyes and giggling because they know they both can’t dance.

 

They’re still slow dancing three songs later. Louis’ head is resting on Harry’s shoulder and Harry went back to holding Louis’ hand and keeping the other on one hip.

 

“I don’t want to stop.” Harry whispers.

 

“What ?”

 

“I don’t want to stop dancing. I don’t want this day to end. I don’t want to let you go.” Harry is breathing right into Louis’ ear and he’s so excited to tell him that he doesn’t have to let him go, that they have a chance to be together.

 

“Harry there’s something I need to tell you...”

 

“C’mon !” Stan shouts next to Louis and it’s only then that he becomes very aware of the new song, more upbeat, forcing Stan to engage in a human chain, dragging everyone on his path, including Louis and Harry.

 

Louis wonders if he’ll ever get to announce the news to Harry and figures he could pull them out of the chain, but Harry is laughing and enjoying himself way too much, so he maybe he could wait until after this dance.

 

 

**********

 

 

It’s eleven am when Louis wakes up.

 

He expects to wake up the same way he has been for the last few weeks: alone and cold. Instead, he wakes up tangled in Harry’s legs, warm and well.

 

“You’re awake ?” Harry asks and Louis has the feeling he hasn’t been sleeping for a while.

 

“When did you wake up ?” Louis yawns and buries his face in Harry’s neck.

 

“Few hours ago.” Harry should sound relaxed and peaceful, but Louis can hear the sadness in his voice.

 

“Is something wrong babe ?”

 

“No I just…I just wish it could be like this everyday.” Harry sighs and Louis smiles, knowing there’s a chance it could.

 

“Well, I’ve been trying to tell you this but something always interrupted me…”

 

“Tell me what ?” Harry asks but begins kissing Louis’ chest when he shifts down on the bed. He wraps the blanket in the right place to cover him and goes down on Louis, making him forget what he was about to say.

 

“My little sisters are on this floor !” Louis scolds but it doesn’t stop Harry from pleasing him the way he can.

 

“You should keep quiet then…” Harry whispers and goes back to his morning handjob.

 

“Fuck, you’re such a little shit… _huh_ …” Louis complains but guides Harry’s head as soon as he starts sucking him off.

 

Louis might as well die in his bed when he hears a knock on his door. His mom thinks Harry’s sleeping in the guest room downstairs and he’s not sure she could recover from seeing her son get a blowjob.

 

He quickly throws the huge dark blue comforter over them and tries to act like he wasn’t moaning two seconds ago.

 

His mom walks in without permission as usual and he really regrets not locking his door last night.

 

“Honey, you’re alright ? I need to talk to you.” Jay says and Louis curses every god he knows.

 

She sits on the desk chair in front of him and Louis thinks Harry has stopped breathing, but he suddenly feels silky lips around his hard on and if he could kill someone right now, it’d definitely be Harry. He makes sure the movement of Harry’s head isn’t visible and, the comforter might be thick enough, Harry’s head is bobbing up and down and Louis has to put a pillow right above it as his mom talks.

 

“I just wanted to say how proud I am. You’ve been so amazing with Dan, accepting him and everything. I hope you know it means a lot to me.” Jay says and Louis’ glad she’s focusing on the pictures on the desk because Harry’s not giving a fuck in the world, sucking Louis’ cock fast and sloppy, making it slip out of his mouth only to lick it all the way from the base, around his balls, and back up to the tip.

 

And yes, Louis’ thinking about his death wish.

 

“It’s…okay.” Louis can’t say anything else without moaning and he hopes his mom hasn’t noticed him humming nervously.

 

“I’ll let you rest but…I just want you to be careful when you go back with Harry. He’s lovely and I see how happy he makes you. I’ll miss you like crazy Boobear, but I know you’ll be the happiest boy…man in the world, and that’s exactly what my job is about.” Jay stands up and Louis hopes he’s not showing any signs of having a guy suck his dick right now.

 

“Mmmh mmh.” Louis manages to moan and hum at the same time and high fives himself for not giving anything away.

 

Jay approaches the door and smiles one last time before closing it and walking downstairs.

 

As soon as he stops hearing footsteps, Louis groans, coming down Harry’s throat violently.

 

“What did she mean “when you go back with me” ?”

 

“That’s…what I’ve been trying to…tell you.” Louis is breathless and he can’t open his eyes but he just can’t keep this inside anymore. “I got a job in Santa Monica.”

 

“Are you saying that …” Harry asks when he gets his head out of the comforter, lips glossy and red.

 

“Only if you want to…”

 

Harry hugs Louis like a koala and covers his entire body and Louis wonders how his giant doesn’t realize he’s choking him.

 

“I knew it.” Harry whispers.

 

“Knew what ?”

 

“That if two people are meant to be together, then fate will always find a way.”

 

There’s a long pause before Louis starts talking again.

 

“Baby ?”

 

“Yes ?” Harry purrs under Louis’ hand in his hair.

 

“I will always love you.”

 

Louis’ not afraid to say this. He’s not afraid to admit how in love he is with this man. He’s not afraid to say his Harry’s, not afraid to say his heart belongs to him and not afraid to say his life is incomplete without him in it.

 

He knows he’s lucky. Not everyone gets to meet the one. Not everyone gets to run into their soulmate into a frozen yogurt shop. He knows his soul has found its counterpoint in Harry’s and he feels lucky to call it love.

 

Right now, stroking Harry’s hair lying on his chest, he knows it’s the only way he could ever spend his mornings. It’s the only way he would ever want to wake up.

 

There’s just something so powerful about love. One day it’s a stranger you find yourself weirdly attracted to but then you’re unable to suppress the thought, because your soul is yelling at you to chase it, chase this soul that your heart has chosen.

 

Some people don’t believe in love. And to be honest, Louis was one of them not too long ago. The only thing he knew about love was that it was temporary, that it left a woman and her baby alone in the middle of the night. He thought love was spending a few nights with someone and then go away and never come back. He confused love and lust and thought it was craving someone for one night. He thought about love in the worst ways, because he had never witnessed true love.

 

But lying under this warm body hugging him tight, he finally understands what love is.

 

Love is waking up eager to tell someone how much you care about them. Love is putting someone else’s needs before your own. Love is buying the right brand of cereals for your spouse. Love is holding your their hand and never let it go. Love is to protect, to cherish, to be patient and to be faithful.

 

“I’ll always love you too. And you don’t have to worry about a thing. Because fate made sure that you and I…it’s forever.”

 

 

THE END OF ALL ENDS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked that cute litte series :)
> 
> Please tell me if you want more of them and I'll be happy to write a few aside from the chaptered fic I'm working on right now !


End file.
